Today...

Jun. 21st, 2005 07:02 pm
guenievre: (marque)

Today was frustrating. For whatever reason, my... well, I'll call it ADD though I've never been diagnosed of course was acting up again... well, to be honest it HAS been acting up again for the past week, but today was worse. Which was especially annoying because I have stuff I *have* to get done for work... and stuff I want to get done this evening at home (sew new garb). Instead, I'm here at work, though I've given up on getting anything else done (will come in early tomorrow to do useful things, I suppose) writing this and waiting for Nick to get done w/ Buckston practice (I forgot to snag the work keys from him before he left, so he has to come back so that I can lock up). I could be sewing - I have handsewing with me that I brought thinking I'd go to practice - but I'm just too frustrated at myself right now.

Maybe I'll cook something tasty for dinner, that might make me feel better...(though last time I tried cooking I managed to fail at making pasta. No, really, the dough just wouldn't go through the machine for some reason, and I ended up taking the ravioli filling (cooked chicken and bits of mozarella with garlic and sundried tomatoes) and just tossing it with the pesto sauce and some angel hair. It was tasy, but NOT what I wanted - and if THAT kind of failure happened to me today I'd cry.

Yes, I'm being melodramatic. Sorry 'bout that, like I said I've been... cranky for a few weeks now. Or to put it bluntly, the chronic depression I've had off and on (again, not diagnosed, but might as well call a spade a spade) for years is "on" again. I wonder... if I had had a more "normal" childhood, whether I'd be having these issues now? I mean, my life is pretty damn good, so there's NO reason for my brain to be doing this stuff to me... other than these pathways of apathy and discontent were so well-trodden back then that they become VERY easy to fall into now...can your brain get "worn" like that? I wonder if anyone's done that study...

guenievre: (Default)
So meanwhile, my job is still sucking the life out of me - I don't understand this - nothing has really changed, per se, in the projects I do or the people I work with, but...somehow they just don't interest me anymore and I find myself fighting not to go do SCA research when I should be working...

Hmm, this diary entry is taking longer than it should... mostly b/c I succumbed to temptation and looked around a bit more on the tiny-half-circle cloak issue.

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guenievre

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